That was the beginning of my withdrawal. I would take the blame for that act but not all of it. Yes I didn't say, I had my reservations about things, things I couldn't ask because I know the reply i would get. Of course nobody would tell you this is what i do right/ or what i am especially if they perceive you to be very different and also about our Faith. I am a practicing Christian, i believe in God and everything that concerns God, he doesn't, more like he sees it about church as per a building that houses people that go there to worship their pastors and so on, I don't blame him or fault him completely because to an extent he might be right hence my preaching:- "know God for your self". He claim to believe in his chi [traditional person that's not practicing] and yet, if somethings happens he calls God. confused being right? I didn't find that funny at all, so that was among my major reservations.
so, after that fateful day:- the day of the event in my state I found a stronger excuse to avoid him and I did that for a month until the said break up. During that period i would constantly reach out, I would converse with him even if he doesn't reply fully, I would still refuse us seeing. even if I was wit drawing, low key i was thinking just maybe out of sight would make me what to see him, or develop feelings right? but it didn't happen that way. Almost three weeks after that was his birthday uhmmmmmm i wasn't even thrilled or looking forward to his birthday, I was just there, prior to that, he has been nice and generous to me or maybe guilty conscience as I told him yet he still complained about no money and wasn't doing anything but chill at home with his guys and his chilling involves smoking which never going to be me in that space. Yes I said smoking... another red flag i should have seen and aborted mission from the onset right? yet i tried, only God know what Is was trying lol I had already told him i wont be a part of that and i would stay in my home. A day to his birthday he had started making arrangements for a party haaaaaa, in my mind I thought you have no money as per your usual complains. I kept it in and yes i didn't attend and i did not feel like i did something bad that was when i knew this is not going to end well and that i was really being wicked towards this guy and also i didn't like him at all and i needed to end it all with him and free him.
After his birthday our communication became more strenuous, it could have been felt by whoever wanted to feel it LOL. A week later he asked we meet to see and sort everything out. The meeting was to be on a Friday, the Friday came and we met, this was almost a month since he had last seen me and we both live close, not very very close but easily assessable. We went out to our first major hangout, out of sight for me was really out of mind for me, I wasn't even happy to see him, i was just there. We had conversations, fortunately for me his supporting football club was playing that night and he needed to go watch it with his guys and guess what? he needed to buy shisha pot. like wawoo it is going to be a party over there, I just wanted to go home i didn't even eat the fish i asked for until several days later, it was just inside the freezer. I followed him to guy buy his shisha pot or whatever it is called, i didn't get down from the car I told him if I ever want to be seen anywhere is not where they buy shisha, i wasn't really happy and i mentally checked out. this person was really way out of my league and i was done trying and struggling and also playing scenarios in my head that i knew would never happen.
I thanked him for bringing me out of my house and we went our separate ways.
The Monday following that Friday, he reached out and said he didn't like how he was feeling and that he strongly feels I wanted to end it all. I replied wawoo and that the most important thing for me at that moment was doing what i planned to do that day. I prayed and made promises the Sunday before that Monday to God and my self that i was never going to struggle with my emotions for anyone, i was never going to get into any relationship with anyone i don't know the basic about him and accepted him, no matter how bored i am i wont just enter into anything. I prayed and begged.
hours later after he told me we needed to talk, he reached out and said we should talk i just replied i wanted out, he asked we seen and talk it out and fixed it, I stuck to my i wanted out and that i wasn't going to see him, I wasnt scared of him but rather felt it was of no use seeing since my mind has been made up. By the by after that our last date, I haven't not seen him and its been many many many weeks now.
When it dawned on him i meant all i was saying, he started talking, he said i used him, wawoo, how did I? because to my knowledge i was careful i was struggling emotionally so i needed no form of attachment or obligation to him, he also called me waste of time uhmmmmmm and said more.. For some reasons the words hurt me. i deleted his contacts but still had our conversations, he blocked me everywhere. Oh, before i forget, he said he is the best thing that would have happened to me and i would not meet anyone that would love me as he does uhmmm i countered that talk and replied i would meet a way better person that i would not have to struggle with and he too would meet who would be true to him and love and care for him. It didn't end well though but i was determined to reply him sweetly because i knew i was the one doing the cutting off oh sorry breaking up.
A week later i had it in me to reach out which i did and we said our pleasantries and that was the last time we both heard from each other...



Days later i met someone LOL. and I stuck to my I must know this person.

the end.